Yes, it's all coming back to me now. We are a week and 2 days at home with a newborn. How quickly you forget all the sleep deprivation, constant feedings, million diaper changes, and not to mention the unexpected hormone surges that make you into a blubbering idiot for no reason. Carter told me he loved me the other day and you would have thought I was at his funeral.
But, I also had forgotten the love you feel the first time you hold your newborn son and the swelling of your heart as you hold him and cherish each moment that goes by. Even when it's just Fin and me in the middle of the night, I feel so blessed and loved by this little person in my life.
I am struggling, however, with the idea of making enough room in my heart to love Fin like I love Carter. I wouldn't say that the love is more or less, but just different. Carter was our world for going on two years and now POOF!, here lands this sweet boy that I am supposed to love the same. I told Will the other day that it is like I have so much love in my heart for the both of them, it's too much to contain. That's probably where the tears enter in.
Overall, I am doing well. Recovery after a C-section has not been the end of the world for me and I am surprised how good I feel after a week and a half. We all are adjusting just fine. Carter is turning two in a week and a half and this is definitely showing but is a sweet boy most of the time. He comes over to Fin all the time and says, "Hi Finley!", waves at his face and sometimes plants a gentle kiss on his head.
And Will still is the best daddy in the whole wide world!!