I never thought…

I said two words I never thought I'd say on Friday at the doctor's office.

I actually said: 'Cool diaperbag.'

I guess I'll be saying lots of things I've never said before. Someday I'll say something like 'I think we should get a mini-van'.

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A billion times more

Back to what I was saying about realizing just how much you can love another person. I love my husband, Will, a billion times more than I thought I could. He was so much support and encouragment during my labor. I truly could not have done it without him. He calmed my fears and eased me through each contraction with his touch. He means so much more to me having gone through every minute of this pregnancy and labor; He is my Rock!

He is the best daddy in the whole world! He just looks at Carter with this adoration, it makes me cry everytime. (pausing for more tissue) Listening to him talk to Carter and tell him stories and explaining how the world works is one of my favorite moments now. We have 3 billion words to speak to him before he is one year old (Will read this somewhere) (Will’s note, 30 million by school age).

I truly am the most blessed woman on the face of the earth right now!

My Sweet Baby Boy

Hi everyone. It's me, the proudest mommy in the whole world. I've been giving myself a few days to blog because the emotions are just too much right now. I sit here writing this through a flood of tears as my heart swells with so much love and pride for my sweet baby boy. He is the most beautiful sight I have ever laid eyes on. (Pausing for tissue!) Will and I joke because all I can think of right now is the scene in one of our favorite movies, "Raising Arizona", where Holly Hunter (aka Ed) is holding little Nathan Jr. in the car and whails out loud, "I love him so much!".

I have learned the truth in what everyone says about not knowing what love is untlil you have your own child. I never knew that I could love another human being as much as I love Carter. He is absolutly PERFECT!

Birth night notes

I kept a set of notes the night and morning of the birth. These notes end when Cilla started pushing at 4:00 AM. Cilla delivered Carter about three hours later.

  • 9:40 PM – Arrive at the ER. Straight up to the room. We're directly above the floor where Cilla works.
  • 10:40 PM – Stadol and Phenergan (Cilla's old friend from when got migraines) administered. After about ten minutes, Cilla is asleep, not even the contractions wake her. I can't believe we are here. I'm sitting next to the warming tray.
    I can't believe in a few hours we'll hear Carter cry for the first time. This pregnancy has gone so well. This labor, so far, has gone so well. I feel blessed beyond merit.
    Dr Tadvick (physician on call, very good Dr.) should be here soon.
  • 11:00 PM – Dr. Tadvick shows up. Seems like a nice guy.
  • 11:20 PM – Cilla successfully walks 20 feet to go the bathroom. She's still very groggy. Epidural Dr should be here soon. Cilla has the shakes. Contractions about 5.5 to six minutes apart.
  • 11:45 PM – Dr Lancaster shows up to give epidural. Cilla did fine. She got her epidural. Not getting an epidural was probably her biggest fear. She says 'now I can do this.' I'm very happy. Cilla feels relieved/still groggy. The epidural makes her feel itchy all over. Nobody ever told me or her it could make you feel itchy.
    Note, if your wife goes into labor at night (or even in the day I guess. I've never had my wife go to labor in the day), make sure to get a few dollars in change for the vending machine. I didn't and I'm huuungry. Cilla is asleep again.
  • 12:30 AM – I found a dollar in the car. Thank goodness for vending machines.
    I have this weird combination of boredom and slight apprehension. I guess when your wife is in labor, boredom is a really Good Thing. I hope I'm bored until this is over. Every once in awhile I remember why I'm here and get a jolt of adrenaline. Carter will be here soon and I'll be totally overwhelmed.
    Cilla's still asleep. Carter's heart rate is still 135 to 150. Contractions are still about 5.5 minutes apart.
  • 12:45 AM – It is very quiet. I can hear Carter's heartbeat on the fetal monitor. Our delivery room is all the way at the end of the hall so we are away from the bustle of the floor.
    The couple of times Cilla has woken up she says she wishes she hadn't taken the medicine that has put her to sleep. I think she probably feels like she is going to miss something. So far there hasn't been anything to miss.
  • 1:00 AM – Two of Cilla's best friends work in the nursery / mother care. Julie works tomorrow (today! Carter's Birthday) and Wednesday. Christy works on Thursday. We should be discharged on Wednesday. Cilla and I are thrilled that they will be here to help us. Having the baby on Monday night / Wednesday morning and having Julie and Christy to help me afterwards almost feel providential. Julie will be the first of our friends to meet Carter.
  • 1:35 AM – Cilla woke up a few minutes ago. She feels fine. Her left leg is completely numb. She can't feel her contractions at all. She is still dilated to seven centimeters.
  • 1:40 AM – They've just given her some pitocin to help things along.
  • 2:50 AM – I'm tired. I went to walk around a bit and while I did, Dr Tadvick broke Cilla's waters. The medicine seems to be wearing off. Cilla's awake.
  • 3:00 AM – Quick check by Dr Tadvick. Probably start pushing in the next thirty minutes.
  • 3:35 AM – Interesting. Cilla's demeanor is changing. She seems to be getting more focused. Two minutes between contractions. She's feeling pressure, but no pain at all.
  • 4:00 AM – pushing

Carter, day four

Carter's first night home was a long one. Cilla and I are both light sleepers. Cilla was / is a trooper. We're learning quickly that we should sleep when he does.

If he looks a little yellow in these pictures, he is. Carter has a slight case of jaundice. We had a doctor's appointmant this morning and the nurse practioner says Carter looks fine and the jaundice should clear up in a few days. Carter loves riding in the car. There has to be a pun in there somewhere.

Carter, day three

Carter came home today. He and Cilla are doing just fine. Carter really only has three functions: eat, sleep, and poop. He seems to be learning how to do each well.

I learned several things today:

  • I brought my son home for the first time today. I was relly nervous. Coming home was scary for me. Now that we're home, I feel better. God seems to have made brand new babies just self sufficient enough that I'm not going to break him right off the bat.
  • I got peed on for the first time today. First time of many, I'm sure. I learned there are worse things than getting peed on. I'm sure I'll have more suprises from that end of Carter.
  • I learned a bit more about my wife. She really loves Carter and he's only been here a few days. She's a bit emotional, but she's hanging in there like a champ.
  • The realization that the generosity of friends is cool. Thanks Kevin and Debbie for dinner. Debbie, thanks for showing me how to wrap Carter, again.

Tomorrow, assuming I’m not too tired to type, I'll post a full gallery. And I'll post the thoughts I had and wrote down during Cilla's labor. Thanks for the continued prayers.